You just made me feel so damn special
Someone shit on the floor
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Randomize
