it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Randomize
