Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
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