But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Randomize
