my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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