I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
You dont lie about slip and slides
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
