i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
