talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
