two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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