Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
