Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
