I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
