i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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