Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Need sex. Gaining weight.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
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