I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize