i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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