No stitches, just platelets and will power
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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