I'd wear matching sweaters with you
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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