do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
