thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
