I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
