Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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