dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I understand Curling. That high.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
