i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Randomize
