it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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