I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize