he shaved USA in his pubs
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
