I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize