I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
