im drinking this country out of the recession.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize