Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize