careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
