I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
