How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I look better un-naked...
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
