margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
