oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
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