she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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