I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
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