her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
