Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
