If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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