Having a random hookup so left but love u
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
