someone owes me an orgasm
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Also, beer. Big fan.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
