the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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