good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
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