if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize
