Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
