I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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