Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
