I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
