can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
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