My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
How external is "for external use only"?
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
