Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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