Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I think i got beer on your cat.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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