Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
