Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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