So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
