everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
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