so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
