I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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