Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
