last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
