So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I wish i was in the wii world.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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