she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
so explain again why im purple
no
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Randomize
