Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
this just has baby written all over it
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
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