Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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