Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
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