Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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