Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
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