She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize