i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
