just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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