it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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