Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Randomize