shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
