I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
