wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Randomize
